Outward Signs of Spiritual Growth – (Inner Change in Everyday Life)  by Stephen Canning

Spiritual growth isn’t measured by beliefs, labels, rituals, how you look or spiritual language.
It’s not about what you say you believe — it’s about how you live, day to day.

HOW:
■ you respond to stress and situations
■ you treat people
■ your mind behaves when life gets difficult
■ safe you feel inside yourself
■ much noise, business, stress, you actually need to feel okay
■ you can let go of the negative effects of past grievances, hurts, pains and angers
■ you can let go of regret
■ you respect yourself regarding your eating habits, exercise, and restricting unprescribed drugs.

AND YOU ARE NOT FANATICAL ABOUT ANY OF THIS!

This change can be subtle, and it’s rarely dramatic and initially can be rarely visible to others. And most of the time, it’s not even something you consciously notice at first.

It just starts to feel like: Something is changing… and I’m not fighting life the way I used to.

These signs aren’t things you try to create. They’re natural byproducts of inner development.

They happen quietly. Organically, and seemingly without effort (although ‘behind the scenes’, you have to put in the ‘work’).

Across many traditions, the principle remains the same: ‘we reap what we sow‘.

As Rumi said so simply:
“Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.”

1. Outer Life Markers

Changes in everyday living
These show up in normal life — not in spiritual spaces.
■ In conversations.
■ In routines.(eg.what you eat, drink, exercise, meditation, yoga)
■ In what you tolerate.
■ In what you’re drawn to:

• Less attraction to drama, chaos, conspiracy theories and gossip
  You just don’t have the appetite for it anymore.
  Arguments, outrage cycles, emotional noise — they feel draining instead of stimulating.
• More love for silence and simplicity
  Quiet stops feeling awkward.
  Stillness stops feeling empty.
  You don’t feel the need to fill every moment.
• A desire to be in Nature more
• Reduced need for constant stimulation
• ■ Less scrolling.
  ■ Less background noise.
  ■ Less compulsive distraction.
  ■ Less need to “fill the space”.
  ■ not feeling lonely in aloneness
• Natural detachment from excessive social life (not rejection)
  You still care about people, but you don’t need constant interaction to feel whole.
• Desire for truth over entertainment
  Genuine insight starts to matter more than passing fad.
  Meaning matters more than just acting out a part or doing your duty.
• Enjoyment of solitude without loneliness
  Being alone no longer feels like something is missing.
  It feels like rest.

I’ve noticed this one personally — the silence starts to feel like a friend instead of a void.
■ Not empty.
■ Not awkward.
■ Just calm.

2. Mind Markers

Changes in how your mind behaves
This is where growth becomes really obvious. Not in what you think — but in how your thinking works.

• Thoughts slow down more easily.
  Stress cycles/thoughts aren’t as intense or as long-lasting.
  Overthinking doesn’t spiral the way it used to.
• Gaps between thoughts appear.
  You experience moments of quiet in your own mind — even during busy days.
• Less compulsive thinking and catastrophising
  The mind stops constantly predicting disaster.
• More witnessing, less reacting.
  You notice thoughts and emotions instead of being swallowed by them.
• Less complaining.
  Even mentally, and less trying to change others
• The ego softens
  Less defensiveness
  Less proving
  Less needing to be right
  Less comparison
  Less internal pressure to perform, especially to others’ expectations
• Emotional responses become gentler
  You still feel — but you don’t explode or collapse as easily.
• Acceptance replaces constant complaint.
  You work with reality instead of fighting it all the time.
• More warrior, less worrier
  Strength starts replacing anxiety.
  Calm starts replacing panic.

The biggest shift is this:
Your mind stops feeling like your enemy and starts feeling like something you can actually live and work with. Your mind becomes your instrument instead of your master. You listen to ‘Soul Urges’ rather than to mainly physical-sense urges.

3. Identity Markers

Subtle shifts in how you experience yourself
This is the deepest change — and the quietest.

You don’t suddenly become “spiritual.” LOL      You just feel… different inside yourself.

• Less identification with the body, more connection to spirit
  You still live in your body — but you don’t define yourself by it.
• Less fear of death
  Not in a morbid way — just a quieter relationship with impermanence.
• Less obsession with outcomes
  You still care — but you’re not controlled by results.
• Feeling like a witness to life
  You experience life without being crushed by it.
• Deep inner safety
  A calm sense of stability that doesn’t depend on circumstances.
• Quiet joy without cause
  Not necessarily excitement or pleasure.
  Just contentment — for no particular reason.

 

This one is hard to explain — but when it happens, you know it.
Life feels less threatening, Less fragile. Less overwhelming. Less out of your control.

What This Really Means

Spiritual growth isn’t mystical or dramatic, it’s:

• emotional regulation
• nervous system stability
• ego softening
• psychological coherence
• inner safety
• identity maturity

It’s not escape from life — it’s clarity within life.

The Real Marker of Growth
■ Not what you experience.
■ Not what you believe.
■ Not what you say.
■ Not what you claim.

But:
■ You suffer less
■ You react less
■ You fear less
■ You understand more
■ You forgive more
■ You feel safer inside yourself
■ You love more quietly
■ You need less validation
■ You feel more at home in your own skin
■ You recognise that some days are much more challenging than others, and the ‘growth’ is in how you respond to these challenges.

That’s real growth.

Rumi put it perfectly: “Why are you so busy with this or that or good or bad — pay attention to how things blend.”

Final Reflection

Spiritual growth isn’t loud. It isn’t dramatic. It isn’t performative. It isn’t something you announce.
It’s quiet, Subtle, Stabilising, and Grounding.

It makes you:
■ calmer, not louder
■ softer, not sharper
■ deeper, not busier
■ simpler, not more complex
■ freer, not more complicated

You don’t become more “spiritual”, you become more human.

■ More present.
■ More peaceful.
■ More grounded.
■ More real.

And often, the only people who notice are the ones who feel safe, calm, and settled around you.

View my other post: Karma-Consequences in Action

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