Spiritual growth isn’t measured by beliefs, labels, rituals, how you look or spiritual language.
It’s not about what you say you believe — it’s about how you live, day to day.

HOW:
■ you respond to stress and situations
■ you treat people
■ your mind behaves when life gets difficult
■ safe you feel inside yourself
■ much noise, business, stress, you actually need to feel okay
■ you can let go of the negative effects of past grievances, hurts, pains and angers
■ you can let go of regret
■ you respect yourself regarding your eating habits, exercise, and restricting unprescribed drugs.

AND YOU ARE NOT FANATICAL ABOUT ANY OF THIS!

This change can be subtle, and it’s rarely dramatic and initially can be rarely visible to others. And most of the time, it’s not even something you consciously notice at first.

It just starts to feel like: Something is changing… and I’m not fighting life the way I used to.

These signs aren’t things you try to create. They’re natural byproducts of inner development.

They happen quietly. Organically, and seemingly without effort (although ‘behind the scenes’, you have to put in the ‘work’).

Across many traditions, the principle remains the same: ‘we reap what we sow‘.

As Rumi said so simply:
“Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.”

1. Outer Life Markers

Changes in everyday living
These show up in normal life — not in spiritual spaces.
■ In conversations.
■ In routines.(eg.what you eat, drink, exercise, meditation, yoga)
■ In what you tolerate.
■ In what you’re drawn to:

• Less attraction to drama, chaos, conspiracy theories and gossip
  You just don’t have the appetite for it anymore.
  Arguments, outrage cycles, emotional noise — they feel draining instead of stimulating.
• More love for silence and simplicity
  Quiet stops feeling awkward.
  Stillness stops feeling empty.
  You don’t feel the need to fill every moment.
• A desire to be in Nature more
• Reduced need for constant stimulation
• ■ Less scrolling.
  ■ Less background noise.
  ■ Less compulsive distraction.
  ■ Less need to “fill the space”.
  ■ not feeling lonely in aloneness
• Natural detachment from excessive social life (not rejection)
  You still care about people, but you don’t need constant interaction to feel whole.
• Desire for truth over entertainment
  Genuine insight starts to matter more than passing fad.
  Meaning matters more than just acting out a part or doing your duty.
• Enjoyment of solitude without loneliness
  Being alone no longer feels like something is missing.
  It feels like rest.

I’ve noticed this one personally — the silence starts to feel like a friend instead of a void.
■ Not empty.
■ Not awkward.
■ Just calm.

2. Mind Markers

Changes in how your mind behaves
This is where growth becomes really obvious. Not in what you think — but in how your thinking works.

• Thoughts slow down more easily.
  Stress cycles/thoughts aren’t as intense or as long-lasting.
  Overthinking doesn’t spiral the way it used to.
• Gaps between thoughts appear.
  You experience moments of quiet in your own mind — even during busy days.
• Less compulsive thinking and catastrophising
  The mind stops constantly predicting disaster.
• More witnessing, less reacting.
  You notice thoughts and emotions instead of being swallowed by them.
• Less complaining.
  Even mentally, and less trying to change others
• The ego softens
  Less defensiveness
  Less proving
  Less needing to be right
  Less comparison
  Less internal pressure to perform, especially to others’ expectations
• Emotional responses become gentler
  You still feel — but you don’t explode or collapse as easily.
• Acceptance replaces constant complaint.
  You work with reality instead of fighting it all the time.
• More warrior, less worrier
  Strength starts replacing anxiety.
  Calm starts replacing panic.

The biggest shift is this:
Your mind stops feeling like your enemy and starts feeling like something you can actually live and work with. Your mind becomes your instrument instead of your master. You listen to ‘Soul Urges’ rather than to mainly physical-sense urges.

3. Identity Markers

Subtle shifts in how you experience yourself
This is the deepest change — and the quietest.

You don’t suddenly become “spiritual.” LOL      You just feel… different inside yourself.

• Less identification with the body, more connection to spirit
  You still live in your body — but you don’t define yourself by it.
• Less fear of death
  Not in a morbid way — just a quieter relationship with impermanence.
• Less obsession with outcomes
  You still care — but you’re not controlled by results.
• Feeling like a witness to life
  You experience life without being crushed by it.
• Deep inner safety
  A calm sense of stability that doesn’t depend on circumstances.
• Quiet joy without cause
  Not necessarily excitement or pleasure.
  Just contentment — for no particular reason.

This one is hard to explain — but when it happens, you know it.
Life feels less threatening, Less fragile. Less overwhelming. Less out of your control.

What This Really Means

Spiritual growth isn’t mystical or dramatic, it’s:

• emotional regulation
• nervous system stability
• ego softening
• psychological coherence
• inner safety
• identity maturity

It’s not escape from life — it’s clarity within life.

The Real Marker of Growth
■ Not what you experience.
■ Not what you believe.
■ Not what you say.
■ Not what you claim.

But:
■ You suffer less
■ You react less
■ You fear less
■ You understand more
■ You forgive more
■ You feel safer inside yourself
■ You love more quietly
■ You need less validation
■ You feel more at home in your own skin
■ You recognise that some days are much more challenging than others, and the ‘growth’ is in how you respond to these challenges.

That’s real growth.

Rumi put it perfectly: “Why are you so busy with this or that or good or bad — pay attention to how things blend.”

Final Reflection

Spiritual growth isn’t loud. It isn’t dramatic. It isn’t performative. It isn’t something you announce.
It’s quiet, Subtle, Stabilising, and Grounding.

It makes you:
■ calmer, not louder
■ softer, not sharper
■ deeper, not busier
■ simpler, not more complex
■ freer, not more complicated

You don’t become more “spiritual”, you become more human.

Happy face with motivational message about the power of a smile for emotional health.

■ More present.
■ More peaceful.
■ More grounded.
■ More real.

And often, the only people who notice are the ones who feel safe, calm, and settled around you.

View my other post: Karma-Consequences in Action

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Extensive research has shown the tremendous impact our state of mind has on our physical health. Positive thoughts can promote well-being, motivation and resilience, while negative thoughts can lead to stress, anxiety and sadness.

Because our thoughts influence our emotions, and they trigger physiological reactions throughout our bodies it is wise for us to become the observer of our thoughts and not the thoughts themselves! That way we can either take ownership of the thoughts and believe them or question their validity and dismiss them if they are not true. The body will believe the thoughts we believe whether they are true or not.

Chronic negative stress is often triggered by negative thoughts and emotions, and it will activate the body’s stress response, releasing stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline.

Elevated cortisol levels can weaken the immune system, raise blood pressure, and impair cognitive function, putting us at increased risk for various health issues such as heart disease, diabetes, and depression. Emotional well-being and immune function are also directly affected.

Positive emotions and an optimistic mood are associated with increased immune activity and better overall health and wellbeing plus increased resistance to disease.

The placebo and nocebo effects also provide dramatic evidence of the effects of the mind on the body. The placebo effect occurs when a patient becomes healthier simply because of the belief that they will receive an effective treatment. In contrast, a nocebo effect occurs when negative expectations and thoughts compromise a person’s health, even if the treatment itself is not actually harmful. The body believes what we believe!

These results highlight the tremendous impact our minds have on physical healing.

Mind-body techniques such as meditation, mindfulness, and visualization harness the power of meditation to positively impact our physical well-being. These practices have been shown to reduce stress, boost the immune system and promote relaxation, all of which ultimately enhance overall health outcomes.

Understanding and nurturing this interaction can enhance our ability to develop positive thoughts, promote well-being, and improve overall health.

Ideally, we would aim to get to the stage where we realise that, ‘I am not my mind, I am not even my thoughts. I am the observer of my thoughts, and some of my thoughts are not even true!’ The aim is not to be deceived by thoughts that are not true and/or negative as they are obstacles to our good health. The body believes everything we believe!

My Favourite Short Story

A little boy asked the guru to
tell him about the mind
and the guru says,
“The mind is made up of 2 wolves, a good wolf,
and a bad wolf,” and the little boy asks him,
“Which one wins?” and the guru says,
“The one you feed the most.”

Sometimes when I catch thoughts arising that I realise are from the ‘bad wolf’, I may say to myself, “That’s interesting,” or “I don’t believe that is true.” If we do not ‘buy into’ the ‘bad wolf’ stories, neither will our body!

Be the observer of your thoughts and practice discrimination as to what you choose to believe. Behave the same as if you were receiving the information from someone else!

Mindfulness and Wellbeing

Mindfulness significantly helps us focus on the present moment by encouraging us to observe our thoughts and feelings and help change our perspective from ‘negative self-talk’ towards ‘positive self-talk’.

The origins of mindfulness are found in Buddhism and Zen traditions with the common definition being: ‘The psychological process of bringing one’s attention to experiences occurring in the present moment, which one can develop through the practice of meditation and through other training.’

In the context of this post, mindfulness also means:
1. Being conscious (mindful) of the thoughts that are in your mind and how you feel now.
2. Being conscious (mindful) of the thoughts you would like to have in your mind and how you would like to feel.
3. Being conscious (mindful) of what is going on around you at this moment and how you are interacting with this moment and not being overly reactive, overwhelmed, or under-responsive.

The more aware we are of what we are thinking, the more likely we are to realise that all our thoughts are not true and that we are not our mind or our thoughts! When we realise that we are the observer of our thoughts, (and not the thought itself) we are in a better position to decide if we want to challenge, change, or embrace those thoughts.

It is important to remind ourselves that it is a positive personal growth experience when we witness ourselves (i.e., being mindful), overreacting to situations, behaving in a manner that we would like to change, taking other people’s ‘bait’ again, over-thinking, thinking negatively, putting ourselves down, being over critical or complaining verbally and/or mentally or not creating boundaries with others.

However, often our ‘bad wolf’ wants us to feel guilty when we have these realisations!

When we regularly repeat to ourselves the affirmations found later in this book we are embracing a major concept of mindfulness. We are also being exceptionally mindful of the virtues and qualities we seek to integrate and encourage in our lives and choose to live consciously. Chakra Awareness – gain amazing insights

“But perhaps the most important reason for pursuing mindfulness is so we can have a better health outcome, by improving our mind-body connection. The deeper we go into mindfulness, the more likely we are to enhance our brain, heart and immune system functioning as well.

The mind-body connection has big implications for a range of illnesses, immune-related diseases, but also a growing list of other conditions.” (from ‘The Neuroscience of Mindfulness’ by Neuroscientist Stan Rodski).

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For more information see my book: Chakra Wisdom Workbook – Using Mindfulness, Affirmations, and other tools to Support Your Health and Wellbeing

If you are struggling with your thoughts, personal interactions, experiencing a personal crisis or have anxiety or depression, it is highly recommended that you seek help from a doctor, mental health professional, counsellor or therapist. It is a sign of strength to ask for help, not a weakness!